Recently I have been finding myself awed by how amazing life is. I don't know what started this change in me but I feel more idealistic then I have in years. My usual cynicism has been eroding away and to be honest I think I like it!
If I were to stagger a guess as to why I think it stems from me taking long hard looks at how I acted in High-School. In those days I was always attempting to come off as some sort of time displaced knight. Somewhere my earnest efforts turned into self parody. I earnestly found type virtues I strove for to be good but the current age we live in to be so bad that there was no reason to earnestly attempt them. I was living as if I was the only one in on some sort of huge cosmic joke. The problem was that the joke was on me...
Recently I am coming to see what a tool that made me. A MASSIVE TOOL. Rather then being some sort of callous paladin like archetype I came off as some sort of snark knight. People respect those who live out their beliefs, to a degree that's the only way to show if you truly believe in something in the first place. I was undermining my own cause.
After reconnecting with many of my friends from high school my previous antics came up repeatedly. I began to get an idea of what my thought process was at the time. Seeing where I came from has helped me see who I want to be. I'd much rather be naieve and idealistic then callous and cynical.
P.S. I know this is a day late but seeing how it's my birthday I hope you all understand.
P.P.S. This was all written on my new birthday gift, an Ipad!
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